Want to Get Better With Women? There AreTwo Simple Ways to Put the Odds in Your Favor

There is so much information out there about meeting women and dating.  There's complete stories for you to repeat, games you can play, concepts to master, etc.

BUT, it really comes down to two things, and everything about picking up and dating women is at essence about these two things.  When you know and understand what these two things are, you can improve your success rate much more easily than most guys can.

Most guys who are learning this stuff want to know EVERYTHING.  In fact you're probably reading this because you're a logical guy who wants to know how to get from point A to point D and doesn't want to step out the door until you have full color map with all the detours highlighted in yellow so that you'll be ready for any and every contingency.

Unfortunately, what that means is that you're still sitting at home rather than having a great time with the ladies.  Whatever your level of skill with women is now, you can have more success just based on simple math.

Here it is, the first thing you need to do to improve your success with women:

1) Increase the total number of interactions you have with women

What a relief, right?  Because what it means, is that whatever your level of skill is with women right now, there are some that you could have success with.  Trust me on this.

Even the lamest of the lame guys get laid occasionally.  So you have to get out there and meet more women.  If you do that and nothing else, you will have more success--more phone numbers, more dates, and more sex.  You can't not--it's simple math.

And now the second thing:

2) Increase the effectiveness of each interaction

I'm talking about increasing those percentages, so that instead of 100 interactions to get 1 number, you only need 50 to get 1, and then 20 to get 1.  I'm talking about improving so that instead of 50 phone numbers to get one date, you only need 30, or only 10.

And most deliciously of all, going from needing to go on dates with 30 women to have sex with 1, you can reduce that number to 10 or even 5. I bet that would make dating a lot more exciting for you, wouldn't it?

You need a two pronged attack. 

When my father was a kid, he used to tell my grandmother that he was worried about becoming perfect.  Her answer, "No danger".

Instead of worrying about being perfect, go out there and put those numbers in your favor.  Because you can have more success if you change nothing at all about yourself, and with even small improvements you can make that success come faster.

Do Women Really Want Adventure?

First, the definition(taken from dictionary.com)

----
Adventure:
–noun

1. an exciting or very unusual experience.

2. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.

3. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.

4. a commercial or financial speculation of any kind; venture.
----

Common wisdom is that everyone and especially women like adventure but as with most common wisdom, while it's not quite wrong, it's far from entirely right.

So, last time I was in Seoul again, I found myself once AGAIN looking for a new girl.  With my rather unconventional lifestyle and frequent travel, it's worked out that every time I've gotten a girl here, the relationship hasn't continued when I've returned.

This is frustratingly annoying to say the least.  There are some guys that are always out for novelty and the thrill of the hunt, but that's not my bag.  As a friend of mine said, "I don't like to hunt 'em, I like to farm 'em!"

While I've been here I've had a chance to chill out, read, exercise and muse over things while living with eNeRGy, and BlueM and Vision just upstairs.  That means I get a constant stream of data about the pickup and dating scene here and of course a broad range of guys coming at it from different angles.

And while I was walking down to get some food from the local "Kimbap Heaven" restaurant, I had a realization about the nature of adventure and what it means when it comes to dating and relationships.

We make a big mistake when we assume that more is better.  So if you take a guy who enjoys his typical 9-5 job and is gradually working his way up the corporate ladder and enjoys rock climbing on weekends, that's pretty cool.  No doubt about that.

But it begs the question, of whether the guy who sold his company for tens of millions of dollars and now spends his time traveling the world living where he wants to live when he wants to live there, is better. 

This second guy is definitely more exciting and adventurous but he's beyond the comfort zone of most women.  Even though they may be very interested and think it's a extremely cool lifestyle, that's a far cry from actually being with him.

The vast majority of women would go with guy number 1 any day of the week over guy number 2. 

And the reason is that guy number 2 is a big risk.  She has to leave her regular work-a-day lifestyle, quit her job, give up her career so she can have no idea where she'll be or what she'll be doing 6 months from now.

And that is more pressure than most women can bear--especially asian women.

I was thinking about this recently because I'm here in Phuket, Thailand which is a developing country at best and even here, women are not rushing to marry a foreigner and run off to Europe or America.  They want to stay here where it's comfortable.

I was talking to a long term resident here and he said that most guys think they'll come over here, find a "nice" woman and take her bag, but more often than not, when he sends that money over for a plane ticket instead of buying a ticket she gets herself some new clothes and gold for her mom.

That explains a lot, but now you're wondering how you can use this information and I'll cover that in another post.

Are You Motivationally Challenged?

When something is scarce the price of it goes up. And price, is shorthand for "the amount of work and effort people are willing to put in to acquire something".

Now here's the odd thing about how this works.

A few months back, I was in Hyehwa, an area in Seoul known for stage performances like dance, plays and musicals, with BlueMystery, and two Korean guys--Joker and L. Because this is an artsy area there are lots of people, especially women strolling around.

Tons of coffee shops line the streets too.

(Coffee shops are ubiquitous around college campuses here in Korea. I suppose because people don't want to study in the library?)

Anyway, the 4 of us are roaming the streets, checking out some of the street performances and hoping we'll run into some interesting girls.

There are tons of different areas with different vibes and atmospheres you can go to in Seoul, and though Gangnam is much maligned for being uppity and snooty, no one can deny that when it comes to looks(though it's often surgically assisted), the women are top notch.

The reality is, is that finding amazing women is tough. It's a needle in the hay stack kind of thing. You can meet some fantastic women along the way and have some serious good times with the less than perfect women though--I'm all for that.

So when I was in Hyehwa I gradually found myself thinking things like, "Maybe I should go and talk to that girl...she does have a nice smile."

In my world, this is a flashing Chinese bicycle cop siren.

Because I know that if I were in Gangnam, I wouldn't be thinking any maybes. I wouldn't be using a nice smile as a reason to open. The way it should work is that you see a woman and it's like getting sucked into an approach vortex of glory.

Let's talk about motivation for a minute here.

I used to think I was the laziest guy there ever was. My father used to talk to my mother about how it was impossible to get me to do more than just the bare minimum to get by, and my mother would always respond by saying, "At least we don't have to worry about him dying of a hear attack, dear."

One year in 9th grade, I turned in a research paper on the poet Stevie Smith for my literature class over a month late! Another time, I had to hand deliver a paper to my teacher's house in Philidelphia, 1.5 hours away from where I was in Washington, DC because I didn't finish it on time to give it to her before she left and if I mailed it, it would have gotten there after she was already back in DC.

So here I am this lazy guy, who used to only work about 20-30 hours per month when I started PickUp Asia. Then I started thinking that I'm working awfully hard for a lazy guy.

And then it finally hit me.

All our lives we're trained to believe that we should be able to motivate ourselves to do things that we really don't want to do and have absolutely no interest in doing. Things like homework, and chores, and piano practice(unless of course you like piano practice).

And it messes us up in the head because we lose the ability to recognize real motivation, which is everything that you actually do do in life that is not on autopilot(ie like zipping your pants zipper is on autopilot, or SHOULD be).

So there I am in Hyewha, surrounded by women who I'm trying to be motivated to approach by looking at their best qualities(as seen from afar) and I contrast that with being in Gangnam where there's the constant tractor beam effect of true motivation.

So as I was saying...a lot of guys don't like to go to a place like Gangnam. The women there grade hard, but for me as exciting as the actual achievement of success is(however you define success), the pursuit of it alone is rewarding.

Especially in the world of dating and relationships because there are a lot of checkpoints along the way.



Shanghai Approach Mastery Boot Camp -- An Eyewitness View

It’s Sunday, the final day of PickupAsia’s weekend-long boot camp. After spending most of Friday night going over basic pickup theory and principles with the boys in the workshop, I meet with them Sunday to see if they’ve made any progress...

Find out at http://www.cnngo.com/shanghai/drink/shanghai-pickup-artists-boot-camp-eyewitness-view-241583

CNNGo.com Interviewed Me Too!

(Click to Read the Full Interview)

Why Kino is Important?

When it comes to Kino there are three rules to go by:
Early, Often, and Everyone.

1. Early

This is one of the biggest mistakes guys make when it comes to kino. The longer you wait to initiate kino the bigger leap it seems to be. Start your escalation from the open if possible and soon after if not.

The sooner you start touching her, the sooner she can begin to become comfortable with your touch.

And if you've ever been thrown into the "friend zone" before, kino will mean it never happens again.

Click to read more ...