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Entries in PickUp Asia (5)

Wednesday
03Feb2010

Are You Motivationally Challenged?

When something is scarce the price of it goes up. And price, is shorthand for "the amount of work and effort people are willing to put in to acquire something".

Now here's the odd thing about how this works.

A few months back, I was in Hyehwa, an area in Seoul known for stage performances like dance, plays and musicals, with BlueMystery, and two Korean guys--Joker and L. Because this is an artsy area there are lots of people, especially women strolling around.

Tons of coffee shops line the streets too.

(Coffee shops are ubiquitous around college campuses here in Korea. I suppose because people don't want to study in the library?)

Anyway, the 4 of us are roaming the streets, checking out some of the street performances and hoping we'll run into some interesting girls.

There are tons of different areas with different vibes and atmospheres you can go to in Seoul, and though Gangnam is much maligned for being uppity and snooty, no one can deny that when it comes to looks(though it's often surgically assisted), the women are top notch.

The reality is, is that finding amazing women is tough. It's a needle in the hay stack kind of thing. You can meet some fantastic women along the way and have some serious good times with the less than perfect women though--I'm all for that.

So when I was in Hyehwa I gradually found myself thinking things like, "Maybe I should go and talk to that girl...she does have a nice smile."

In my world, this is a flashing Chinese bicycle cop siren.

Because I know that if I were in Gangnam, I wouldn't be thinking any maybes. I wouldn't be using a nice smile as a reason to open. The way it should work is that you see a woman and it's like getting sucked into an approach vortex of glory.

Let's talk about motivation for a minute here.

I used to think I was the laziest guy there ever was. My father used to talk to my mother about how it was impossible to get me to do more than just the bare minimum to get by, and my mother would always respond by saying, "At least we don't have to worry about him dying of a hear attack, dear."

One year in 9th grade, I turned in a research paper on the poet Stevie Smith for my literature class over a month late! Another time, I had to hand deliver a paper to my teacher's house in Philidelphia, 1.5 hours away from where I was in Washington, DC because I didn't finish it on time to give it to her before she left and if I mailed it, it would have gotten there after she was already back in DC.

So here I am this lazy guy, who used to only work about 20-30 hours per month when I started PickUp Asia. Then I started thinking that I'm working awfully hard for a lazy guy.

And then it finally hit me.

All our lives we're trained to believe that we should be able to motivate ourselves to do things that we really don't want to do and have absolutely no interest in doing. Things like homework, and chores, and piano practice(unless of course you like piano practice).

And it messes us up in the head because we lose the ability to recognize real motivation, which is everything that you actually do do in life that is not on autopilot(ie like zipping your pants zipper is on autopilot, or SHOULD be).

So there I am in Hyewha, surrounded by women who I'm trying to be motivated to approach by looking at their best qualities(as seen from afar) and I contrast that with being in Gangnam where there's the constant tractor beam effect of true motivation.

So as I was saying...a lot of guys don't like to go to a place like Gangnam. The women there grade hard, but for me as exciting as the actual achievement of success is(however you define success), the pursuit of it alone is rewarding.

Especially in the world of dating and relationships because there are a lot of checkpoints along the way.



Tuesday
26Jan2010

Quick Tip for Meeting Women #5: "You're a Playboy!"

When a woman asks you if or accuses you of being a playboy this is a shit test.

She's testing to see how you respond and whether you will become uncomfortable and/or obviously lie to her by pleading with her to believe that you're not.

You see, by accusing you of being a playboy this gives her an easy way to eliminate you. "I can't date that guy, he's a playboy".

So how do you handle this? There are a few ways. One of the ultimate ways to pass this kind of shit test when a girl accuses you of being something is to say:

What do you like about _______ so much?

-OR-

What turns you on so much about ______?

For example:

Her: You're a playboy
You: What do you like about playboys so much?

Her: You're short.
You: What turns you on about short men so much?

Another way to handle it is to tell her straight:

Look, I just met you and already you're trying to marry me. Relax, are you always so uptight?

In the above example, you reframe the whole situation as her being uptight, but you could also imply that she has some ulterior(and less than noble) motive.

Her: What's your job?
You: Oh...you're one of those girls who's only into guys for their money.

If you're dating several girls and she accuses you of having a girlfriend, asks if you have a girlfriend or asks you HOW MANY girlfriends you have:

Her: You have a girlfriend, don't you?
You: I have 3(or however many) girlfriends, but I'm looking for number 4. I think you could be number 4.
Her: I don't want to be number 4(or I want to be number 1)
You: We'll maybe you can be number 3. Can you cook?

Do this only if she's shit testing you. If she's just asking an honest question and you don't have a girlfriend say no, but remember that most people consider any girl you're sleeping with to be your girlfriend so it often makes it EASIER if you call them your girlfriends.

Remember that all of these must be delivered in a fun way.  Mock seriousness, for exmaple, works well.

Wednesday
18Nov2009

Shanghai Approach Mastery Boot Camp -- An Eyewitness View

It’s Sunday, the final day of PickupAsia’s weekend-long boot camp. After spending most of Friday night going over basic pickup theory and principles with the boys in the workshop, I meet with them Sunday to see if they’ve made any progress...

 

Wednesday
11Nov2009

CNNGo.com Interviewed Me Too!

(Click to Read the Full Interview)

Tuesday
10Nov2009

Groove Korea Presents...PickUp Asia!

BlueMystery and I were interviewed last month for Korea's biggest ex-pat magazine.  Check it out:

(Click to Zoom In)