The speaker mentions that males have to strive for respect and avoid humiliation to be one of the historically averat 40% of men to successfully reproduce throughout human history.  I

This is all taken from his Wikipedia page, but I'm going to only focus on the humiliating defeats and hardships he had to overcome to ultimately be the most bangingest man in history.

First off, he had a rough childhood.  His father was a powerful clan leader who was poisoned when Genghis(then called Temujin) was 9 years old.  Being so young, some of his father's rivals took over the clan(gotta love it when your birth rights are snatched away from you) and kicked him, his mom, his sister and his two brothers and some half-siblings out on their asses to fend for themselves:

For the next several years, Hoelun and her children lived in poverty, surviving primarily on wild fruits, marmots, and other small game hunted by Temüjin and his brothers. It was during one hunting excursion that 13-year-old Temüjin killed his half-brother, Bekhter, during a fight which resulted from a dispute over hunting spoils.^[9] This incident cemented his position as head of the household.

That's right, Genghis doesn't let anyone take what's rightfully his.

In another incident in 1182 he was captured in a raid and held prisoner by his father's former allies, the Bjartskular ("wolves"). The Bjartskular enslaved Temüjin (reportedly with a cangue), but with the help of a sympathetic watcher, the father of Chilaun (who would later become a general of Genghis Khan), he was able to escape from the ger in the middle of the night by hiding in a river crevice.

No more whinging about your studio apartment.  At least you never got captured in a raid and had to sleep in a river crevice after you made your escape.  Talk about humiliating.  And then things got worse...

Soon after Börte's marriage to Temüjin, she was kidnapped by the Merkits, and reportedly given away as a wife. Temüjin rescued her with the help of his friend and future rival, Jamuka, and his protector, Ong Khan of the Kerait tribe. She gave birth to a son, Jochi, nine months later, clouding the issue of his parentage.

At 16 you never had to rescue your wife who was very possibly knocked up by the people who kidnapped her--and if she wasn't you know they tapped it as much as they could while they could, yikes!

Toghrul's (Wang Khan) son Senggum was jealous of Temüjin's growing power, and his affinity with his father. He allegedly planned to assassinate Temüjin. Toghrul, though allegedly saved on multiple occasions by Temüjin, gave in to his son^[13] and became uncooperative with Temüjin. Temüjin learned of Senggum's intentions and eventually defeated him and his loyalists.

And then he was betrayed by his blood brother's son, nice.

One of the later ruptures between Toghrul and Temüjin was Toghrul's refusal to give his daughter in marriage to Jochi, the eldest son of Temüjin, a sign of disrespect in the Mongolian culture. This act led to the split between both factions, and was a prelude to war. Toghrul allied himself with Jamuka, who already opposed Temüjin's forces; however the internal dispute between Toghrul and Jamuka, plus the desertion of a number of their allies to Temüjin, led to Toghrul's defeat.

Then his blood brother spits in his face, and rides off to join forces against him with the guy who helped Genghis rescue his wife.  Man, this is way better than TV.  He forgives and then he gets plugged again.  I bet Genghis's buddies had a good laugh at his expense(probably in secret though).

In 1201, a kurultai elected Jamuka as Gur Khan, "universal ruler", a title used by the rulers of the Kara-Khitan Khanate. Jamuka's assumption of this title was the final breach with Temüjin, and Jamuka formed a coalition of tribes to oppose him. Before the conflict, however, several generals abandoned Jamuka, including Subutai, Jelme's well-known younger brother. After several battles, Jamuka was finally turned over to Temüjin by his own men in 1206.

You gotta wonder about a guy who can gather support(and jealousy) like Genghis could.  So remember that the next time people are arrayed against you trying to take you down, you're probably doing something right.

Temüjin again offered his friendship to Jamuka, asking him to return to his side. Temüjin had killed the men who betrayed Jamuka, stating that he did not want disloyal men in his army. Jamuka refused the offer of friendship and reunion, saying that there can only be one Sun in the sky, and he asked for a noble death. The custom is to die without spilling blood, which is granted by breaking the back.

Genghis did have a soft side. In fact when he drew up laws, he made stealing of livestok and women illegal(did I say stealing of women..?  I meant abduction).

I know I could definitely have a serious bloopers reel.  There was one time I opened a girl sitting in a restaurant and when I went to approach her, I totally smashed my face against the glass.  Ouch.

Then there was the time a chick spit at me.  Luckily I had some good friends at both occasions to make sure I never forgot either of those incidents...

So, as I was saying, you often have to be humiliated and make a total ass of yourself to climb to the top.  People will betray you and stab you in the back because they're jealous and they hate to see you succeed.  Keep going anyway and smash them if necessary.

This talk says things about the way men fit into society that have totally matched my experience but has gone against the grain of what society teaches.  One important point is that he debunks the idea that men rule women and have set up soceity for their own benefit.

He also highlights cultural competition as the fulcrum around which gender roles develop.  The most successful cultures developed certain modes of behavior that favored survival while the others didn't. 

One thing that's a serious issue in the past few decades is the position of men in society has rapidly declined from the days where there would be a TV show called, "Father Knows Best" to today where most men are shown as bumbling idiots who are lucky enough to have survived to adulthood much less landed a mate.

Unfortunately, the article starts off by playing into this stereotype:

You’re probably thinking that a talk called “Is there anything good about men” will be a short talk!

Luckily he goes on to show that he's just playing into the recent perceptions that abound in modern western society:

Recent writings have not had much good to say about men. Titles like “Men Are Not Cost Effective” speak for themselves. Maureen Dowd’s book was called “Are Men Necessary?” and although she never gave an explicit answer, anyone reading the book knows her answer was no. Brizendine’s book “The Female Brain” introduces itself by saying, “Men, get ready to experience brain envy.” Imagine a book advertising itself by saying that women will soon be envying the superior male brain!

Nor are these isolated examples. Eagly’s research has compiled mountains of data on the stereotypes people have about men and women, which the researchers summarized as “The WAW effect.” WAW  stands for “Women Are Wonderful.” Both men and women hold much more favorable views of women than of men. Almost everybody likes women better than men.

The author has a quite balanced opinion and points out that modern culture has framed men and women as adversaries when in reality cultures that functioned that way would never have survived.

Firstly, set up a time-bridge before you go for the f-close, or at least set up a tentative time-bridge.

Secondly, follow the "3 in 10" rule. This means that once you've f-closed a girl, fuck her 2 more times within 10 days with at least 1 day in-between. So, you f-close her on Saturday night, make sure you close her two more times by the following Monday. This is well field tested...

Thirdly, be sure to give them validation. Initially, women are in the moment and enjoying the ride while you sweep them off their feet, however after the f-close they begin to think, "What does this mean, where is this relationship going?" etc. As guys we tend to assume they they know we like them, but the reality is that once you've f-closed them, they feel like they've played their last card.

So, you have to continue to qualify them, especially SOIs, and force framing so they feel that even though they gave it up to you, you still value them for them. Also, continue to use future projection to weave the two of you into a life together in the future.

Don't worry about falling into the boyfriend/girlfriend frame, because you've already framed that you date multiple women AND you won't be showing needy behavior AND will stay away from developing patterns and routines with her.

When I first started implimenting the 3 in 10 I noticed that some girls would blow out after the 2nd time, or sometimes after the first.  I also realized that sometimes because of my travel schedule I was unable to complete the 3 in 10 and this lead me to realize that it is an indicator rather than a technique to make the LTR happen.

So going for it will give you a good indication where things stand, but it's not necessary to make sure that your successful close turns into a continuing thing.

There were several differences that are applicable to dating, and one of the ones that struck me most powerfully is that most of the selling process takes place when the salesman IS NOT there!

Think of the car buyer.  He decides he wants a new car.  He's seen some cool cars around, he's talked to some friends and family about it; he looked on the internet.  Then he goes to the dealership.  He talks it over, asking about features availability, pricing and financing.

Then he goes back home to think about it some more.  Do some more research on the internet and talk it over more with his friends and family, to get their input and feedback.  Perhaps he goes to a few different dealerships.

So as you can see, the time that he spends with any one salesman is quite small compared to the total time he spends in the buying process.  Buying a car, is a public experience.  He doesn't want everyone he knows to see him pay too much for a shit car.  He doesn't want to be the laughing stock of the office.

And dating is a lot like this too.  Sure, the time when you are in front of the girl is important, but what's even more important is what she's thinking about you and the conversations she's having with her friends about you when you're not there.

People make decisions based on emotions, but it is your job to also provide enough reasons for her to have logical explanations and rationalizations why being with you is an awesome decision.

Imagine this scenario...girl has a date, and right after she calls up her friend to tell her about the great time she had.  The friend says, "Tell me about him, what does he do?"  And she answers, "He's cute and he's a successful lawyer," and BOOM instant value is projected onto him by her friend and she gets validation for snagging a catch.

The label, "successful lawyer" is short hand for all sorts of positive qualities that imply that this guy is a great mate even though he may actually be a heartless ass.  But she can pride herself on having made a good choice.

In fact if she marries this guy and then things don't go so well, instead of everyone standing around saying, "I told you so," they'll be standing around, wondering how this could have happened--taking the responsability away from her so she becomes the helpless victim of chance.

So, while good exciting dates are important, what's even more important is building your value in ways that when you're not right there in front of her she has positive ammunition to justify to herself and others why being with you and continuing to see you is a good idea.

They come in with the attitude that if they could just figure out how to get sex, they're problems with women and dating would totally be solved.  They usually have a few female friends that they orbit around who tell them what great guys there are, and lucky some woman would be to be with them, and maybe they've had a girlfriend or two so they figure they're pretty good at the relationship thing.

Then they learn pickup and they finally are able to get sex...but it's not leading to the relationships they wanted--in fact it leads to a lot of sex with many different girls that stalls out quickly  And then they get confused and jaded about pickup.

The mistake these guys make is thinking that sex for women is a meaningful emotional investment.

They grew up believing that women are special creatures who live in fantasy land rather than realzing that women can be just as pragmatic, practical and ruthless as men.

There's a wide spread belief that one night stands are a case of guys USING girls, when this is only the case for a small minority of guys--arguably guys who hate or think very little of women.  Guys who get into the "community" usually adore women, and see themselves as being inadequate.  And if they do harbor hatred for women it's because they've sought their approval and been denied, much like Ephialtes in the movie 300 felt about the Spartans.

A large majority of the guys who come into the "community" think that the skills they have are enough to make women swoon and that their cocks are some powerful sceptre that enslaves women in love.

I recently heard the term, "sport fucking" from a blog that I'll post up some things about later, and it means that since women in modern developed societies are pretty secure in terms of survival they don't really need to select all that carefully for the guys they sleep with.  Instead, they can "sport fuck" knowing that there are no consequences because they're on birth control, they have condoms, they can have an abortion, and even if they have the kid they can still extract cash from the man via the legal system.

So this security means that sex no longer has the serious implications that it once did.  This is good news because it makes women more open to sexual adventures.  It's bad news though because most guys still cling on to the old notions of how women operate.

They think that just because they've penetrated a woman, she must be in love and have special feelings, and hold him in high regard.

I can tell you from my experience that sex can mean something to a woman but it can just as easily mean absolutely nothing.

It hurts a lot of guys feelings when they find this out.  Because now they realize that there is more work to be done and they're not going to be home by dinner time.

This is especially true of guys who fancy themselves sexual masters.  I've done a lot of reading on sex and sexuality and I've worked on my technique and women love it.  It's fantastic for them, BUT...

Improving my sexual technique has not meant that I'm suddenly able to control women or that my relationships have significantly improved(though we do have more fun).

In fact, I think that when the sex is really good the first time, women put their emotional defences on full alert because they often don't want a "sport fuck" to turn into anything more.

I'm under-exagerating the power of sex a bit but only because I need to compensate for how society has put it on some higher spiritual plane of existence.  It can be like that, but she has to be willing.

And many(most?) women aren't open to that for a variety of reasons, many(most?) of which have absolutely nothing at all to do with you.

Watch Sex and the City.  Women love that show because they identify with the characters so well.  Sure, the four girls are caricatures, but that just serves to make it much easier for you to learn from it. 

So the main take-away is that sex is sex.  Relationships are relationships.  They are intertwined and are also mutually exclusive, so don't get them confused or you will end up very, very disappointed.

At the same time you must recognize that different people have different compliance ladders(which is one reason that looking out for Indicators of Interest is a losers game, but more on that another time).

People considered to be "nice" will give you lots of compliance easily while for people who are "mean", even a small level of compliance is a huge leap.

You can do things during the Day1 to help build compliance and generally you should be building compliance throughout the sarge and throughout the relationship.

Even a little thing like asking a girl's name is requesting compliance. You ask for her name, she can choose to give it to you. She can choose to give you a bullshit answer or she could choose to ignore you.

Her giving you a bullshit answer is a higher level of compliance than her ignoring you and is infinitely easier to work with.  This is why if you talk to a girl for 20-30 minutes the chances of her showing up for a Day2 are significantly higher than if you only talk to her for 5 minutes--her spending time interacting with you is compliance.

So if you want to get girls to meet you for a Day2 you MUST concentrate on building a lot of compliance on the Day1.

When something is scarce the price of it goes up. And price, is shorthand for "the amount of work and effort people are willing to put in to acquire something".

Now here's the odd thing about how this works.

A few months back, I was in Hyehwa, an area in Seoul known for stage performances like dance, plays and musicals, with BlueMystery, and two Korean guys--Joker and L. Because this is an artsy area there are lots of people, especially women strolling around.

Tons of coffee shops line the streets too.

(Coffee shops are ubiquitous around college campuses here in Korea. I suppose because people don't want to study in the library?)

Anyway, the 4 of us are roaming the streets, checking out some of the street performances and hoping we'll run into some interesting girls.

There are tons of different areas with different vibes and atmospheres you can go to in Seoul, and though Gangnam is much maligned for being uppity and snooty, no one can deny that when it comes to looks(though it's often surgically assisted), the women are top notch.

The reality is, is that finding amazing women is tough. It's a needle in the hay stack kind of thing. You can meet some fantastic women along the way and have some serious good times with the less than perfect women though--I'm all for that.

So when I was in Hyehwa I gradually found myself thinking things like, "Maybe I should go and talk to that girl...she does have a nice smile."

In my world, this is a flashing Chinese bicycle cop siren.

Because I know that if I were in Gangnam, I wouldn't be thinking any maybes. I wouldn't be using a nice smile as a reason to open. The way it should work is that you see a woman and it's like getting sucked into an approach vortex of glory.

Let's talk about motivation for a minute here.

I used to think I was the laziest guy there ever was. My father used to talk to my mother about how it was impossible to get me to do more than just the bare minimum to get by, and my mother would always respond by saying, "At least we don't have to worry about him dying of a hear attack, dear."

One year in 9th grade, I turned in a research paper on the poet Stevie Smith for my literature class over a month late! Another time, I had to hand deliver a paper to my teacher's house in Philidelphia, 1.5 hours away from where I was in Washington, DC because I didn't finish it on time to give it to her before she left and if I mailed it, it would have gotten there after she was already back in DC.

So here I am this lazy guy, who used to only work about 20-30 hours per month when I started PickUp Asia. Then I started thinking that I'm working awfully hard for a lazy guy.

And then it finally hit me.

All our lives we're trained to believe that we should be able to motivate ourselves to do things that we really don't want to do and have absolutely no interest in doing. Things like homework, and chores, and piano practice(unless of course you like piano practice).

And it messes us up in the head because we lose the ability to recognize real motivation, which is everything that you actually do do in life that is not on autopilot(ie like zipping your pants zipper is on autopilot, or SHOULD be).

So there I am in Hyewha, surrounded by women who I'm trying to be motivated to approach by looking at their best qualities(as seen from afar) and I contrast that with being in Gangnam where there's the constant tractor beam effect of true motivation.

So as I was saying...a lot of guys don't like to go to a place like Gangnam. The women there grade hard, but for me as exciting as the actual achievement of success is(however you define success), the pursuit of it alone is rewarding.

Especially in the world of dating and relationships because there are a lot of checkpoints along the way.



The reality is that this movie's main characters are weak individuals not because they do "bad things"(we all do) but because they're such wussies about it.  One guy is about to get married, so before that he decides to have fling with a chick.

No problem there, the guy's not married yet, right?

Except that he deludes himself into believing that he wants to end the wedding that's less than a week off and tell this chick he loves her and shit and that he wants to leave his San Diego life behind him to move out to the vineyards to live near her.  This is what makes him a loser.

The other character is even worse.  Because he even lies to his friend.  Two characters terrified of being alone.  It's actually quite sickening.  It disgusts me that this movie is such a big hit and that people can relate to it.

Two DoucheBags--I pity anyone who is friends, relatives, lovers, co-workers or in any way intertwined
with these lowlifes.

The feelings, sure.  The behavior.  Despicable. 

I'm not against lying per se, but I am against lying to people who don't have arbitrary authority over you(ie lying to government, and your parents when you're a minor is A-OK in my book).

But lying to your friends is just pretending to be someone you're not and when you do that people won't like or love you for who you REALLY are but instead for who they THINK you are.  And that's is a terrible foundation for a long lasting relationship, and whatever relationship you do have won't be fulfilling in the way it's supposed to be.

Guys, as someone who's dated multiple women simultaneously for over 7 years, I can tell you that it's much more satisfying when everyone is on the same page.  Yes, indeed, there are women who don't like it and leave.  And yes it is sad.

Mourn your losses, remember the joys and keep moving.

And Miles would never have gotten Maya back--such a weak approval seeking guy.  Enjoy approval, but understand that it is a by-product of what you do, which is a by-product of who you are.

You only get one Mom.  And if you're reading this, you're too old to be sucking at some woman's teet.

Okay, enough of my ranting for now.