Leading Women - Pace, Then Lead

This has been said in a lot of different ways. Most famously perhaps in Steven Covey's, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit 4 is, "first seek to understand then to be understood". We're taking the same principle and applying it to leading. See, before you can lead a person out of the forest, you've got to go find them in the forest.

If you're not there, they can't follow you--simple as that. So go to them first. This means that there are constraints on how you lead people. There is a pacing to it. You can only move as fast as they can follow. Leading is like herding animals in that you can't make sudden changes in direction. It's more of subtle influence on the existing direction and momentum.

If you do this right with the correct foresight, you will see that you can ultimately lead people anywhere. For good or for evil. In both cases it is subtle influence exerted consistently over time. Many men ignore where the woman is. They ignore what she's communicating about what makes her comfortable and uncomfortable.

And this is key because one of the factors that makes people want to follow you more is your track record of leading them to a better world, and a better life. This is credibility and it takes time and consistent positive results.

I know many men, who think that a woman is supposed to conform to what they want and do what they want--they believe that this is "Alpha" behavior when real alpha behavior is leading a woman down a path that she is uncertain about but is willing to go down because she trusts you, only to find herself EXACTLY where she wanted to be quicker and easier than she could have arrived on her own.