Party! Party! Party!
Thursday, October 22, 2009 at 4:12AM eNeRGy and I went to a rather small party at a bar in Sinsa, known as a trendy cafe area tucked away in Apkujeong, the high class center of Seoul. It was a small venue about the size of a 2-bedroom apartment with a few dozen people--mostly women, and mostly quite attractive.
Most of the people there were there because they were invited(I was no exception as I received my invitation through facebook a few days ago).
We didn't stay for long, about an hour or two and I re-remembered why I don't like these kinds of venues. It was fun, the girls were friendly, but it didn't have the same cleanly neatness of the venues I usually like to go to.
In a party like this where everyone is connected by only a few degrees of separation women(and men) have to be on their best behavior. They never know who's friends with who.
In a more anonymous situation like street, a club, or a cafe however, there is no such social obligation. What that means is that at a party, you'll be able to meet a lot of people and you'll be able to have a lot of pleasant conversations.
That's fine as far as it goes, and I've made some good connections at these parties. But when it comes to women I like a lot more clarity. In straight cold approach, it's either ON or it's not. There is very little in between.
This clarity means that it's easy to cut your losses and move on--no harm, no foul.
However in a situation where women are obligated by certain social conventions to be friendly and cordial, it's a much bigger challenge to get to the bottom line(hence why hired gun game can be so difficult).
A lot of guys would rather enjoy having pleasant interactions that go nowhere over the harshness of the kind of true blowout that can only happen in strict cold approach. Other guys are really good in these kind of social environments and it suits them better.
The most important thing to realize though, is that the calibration is different, and wherever you decide to meet women you need to keep that in mind because it will trip you up.
Dating, Female Behavior, Seoul, Venues | tagged Cold Approach, Day Game, Night Game, Night Life, Rejection, Sinsa, Warm Approach
Reader Comments (2)
I've never been good in settings like these, where it's social circle based. Maybe we can make a goal to improve on this?
Definitely a good thing to work on. Initially you want to spend time just getting to know people and learning how the social group works. When it comes to these kinds of situations it's a long term multi-battle campaign type deal rather than a one time special forces strike team going in.