Flakey Girls - 3 Things You Can Do To Minimize the Damage

Last night I did a tele-seminar with a few guys in Shanghai.  They've been having trouble dealing with flakes and wanted to know what to do about it.

I totally understand.  Flakes are a way of life in cold approach.

For those of you who don't know, cold approach involved approaching women with no known connection to you.  Then there are various degrees of warm approach, like an introduction to a friend, or a house party, or if you're in the same class, or go to the same University(more on this in a future post).

In any case, cold approach is the most challenging because the anonymity means that:

• Women feel justified in being rude to you--after all, you are a stranger

AND

• You are a total unknown quantity to her, such that if you walk up and say, "Hi, my name is Jim and I'm from California," you could be Rob from Italy and she's got absolutely no way to check.

This also means that when you do set up a date with a woman you meet in cold approach, flake rates will be higher since there are very little or no social repercussions to her bad behavior.

Additionally, in the ranking of things that are priorities in her life, a guy who randomly approaches her is a very small blip on her radar screen compared to family, friends, co-workers, her dog, and just about every other thing going on in her life that she has invested more time and energy into(hence why compliance building early is important).

In this post, I'm not going to talk about flaking and how to prevent it per se, I'm going to discuss damage control.  What that means is that I'm going to discuss tactics you can use to mitigate the dangers to your mental health and time that come when girls flake.

1. Always set up meets at times and places that are convenient for you: That means, you want to meet girls a short walk from your house, someplace you were planning to go anyway, near your work, or on the route between work and your home so that if doesn't show you can quickly and easily move on with your life.
2. Multi-schedule your days: Have an alternate plan of what to do, no matter what it is as long as it's compelling.  That might mean that there's a party you can go to, or friends you can meet up with, or maybe even work or house chores that you need to catch up on.  That way, meeting he is actually IN THE WAY and her flaking means that you can get to other things in you need to do.
3. Invite her to something you already have scheduled:  If you were planning to go pick up a book at the book store or watch Monday night football at the local pub then schedule her to join you for coffee or a meal that will happen before, during or after the activity.

One of the key things to remember when it comes to cold approach is that you have very little information about her as well, so you don't and can't know what her reasons for flaking are and whether they are valid.

Make sure that you set things up in such a way that if flakes happen it does not inconvenience you.  Not only will any bitterness and negativity carry forward into interactions with future women, but it takes a toll on your mental health.

Remember that she's coming to see you, and while you want to have fun activities, YOU are the main attraction.  Save the fancy stuff for later after she's put a bit of work in.  Until she does, save yourself the time, energy, and potential inconvenience and aggrivation.

Comments

[jazz]

Good advice. You are right its easy to get down from flakes.BTW I took your advice on my facebook fanpage and having a sign and that has been good. Good job.

[RedpoleQ]

You're welcome. Glad to help.