A lot of guys, especially guys who are less experienced with sex, have the wrong idea about how important sex is to women.  They've bought into the idea that sex for women must be meaningful, and I think this is the downfall of so many guys who end up in the pickup "community".

They come in with the attitude that if they could just figure out how to get sex, they're problems with women and dating would totally be solved.  They usually have a few female friends that they orbit around who tell them what great guys there are, and lucky some woman would be to be with them, and maybe they've had a girlfriend or two so they figure they're pretty good at the relationship thing.

Then they learn pickup and they finally are able to get sex...but it's not leading to the relationships they wanted--in fact it leads to a lot of sex with many different girls that stalls out quickly  And then they get confused and jaded about pickup.

The mistake these guys make is thinking that sex for women is a meaningful emotional investment.

They grew up believing that women are special creatures who live in fantasy land rather than realzing that women can be just as pragmatic, practical and ruthless as men.

There's a wide spread belief that one night stands are a case of guys USING girls, when this is only the case for a small minority of guys--arguably guys who hate or think very little of women.  Guys who get into the "community" usually adore women, and see themselves as being inadequate.  And if they do harbor hatred for women it's because they've sought their approval and been denied, much like Ephialtes in the movie 300 felt about the Spartans.

A large majority of the guys who come into the "community" think that the skills they have are enough to make women swoon and that their cocks are some powerful sceptre that enslaves women in love.

I recently heard the term, "sport fucking" from a blog that I'll post up some things about later, and it means that since women in modern developed societies are pretty secure in terms of survival they don't really need to select all that carefully for the guys they sleep with.  Instead, they can "sport fuck" knowing that there are no consequences because they're on birth control, they have condoms, they can have an abortion, and even if they have the kid they can still extract cash from the man via the legal system.

So this security means that sex no longer has the serious implications that it once did.  This is good news because it makes women more open to sexual adventures.  It's bad news though because most guys still cling on to the old notions of how women operate.

They think that just because they've penetrated a woman, she must be in love and have special feelings, and hold him in high regard.

I can tell you from my experience that sex can mean something to a woman but it can just as easily mean absolutely nothing.

It hurts a lot of guys feelings when they find this out.  Because now they realize that there is more work to be done and they're not going to be home by dinner time.

This is especially true of guys who fancy themselves sexual masters.  I've done a lot of reading on sex and sexuality and I've worked on my technique and women love it.  It's fantastic for them, BUT...

Improving my sexual technique has not meant that I'm suddenly able to control women or that my relationships have significantly improved(though we do have more fun).

In fact, I think that when the sex is really good the first time, women put their emotional defences on full alert because they often don't want a "sport fuck" to turn into anything more.

I'm under-exagerating the power of sex a bit but only because I need to compensate for how society has put it on some higher spiritual plane of existence.  It can be like that, but she has to be willing.

And many(most?) women aren't open to that for a variety of reasons, many(most?) of which have absolutely nothing at all to do with you.

Watch Sex and the City.  Women love that show because they identify with the characters so well.  Sure, the four girls are caricatures, but that just serves to make it much easier for you to learn from it. 

So the main take-away is that sex is sex.  Relationships are relationships.  They are intertwined and are also mutually exclusive, so don't get them confused or you will end up very, very disappointed.